i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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