Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i drank out of a bidet.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
