why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
