The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
