i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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