Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
