You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
