Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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