Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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