if i died would you start the facebook group?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
