Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Be still, my beating vagina.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize