we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
