i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
