Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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