I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
