my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
