Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
