and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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