my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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