You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
