Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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