A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
