I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
