you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
