you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
