I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
