This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
