dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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