At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
