is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize