My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
