absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
