guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
