I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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