i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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