There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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