Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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