We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I party with great urgency now.
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