i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
