Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The uberlube is also flammable
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
