Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
