he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize