I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize