I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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