You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
