I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
