it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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