I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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