if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
