Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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