I forgot how hot balto sounded
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
