dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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