look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
