I'm so fucking centered right now
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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