I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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