it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
