I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
