he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
