VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
